Let Go of My Ego...

[Brian LaMaster]

Over the past 20 some years we have trained with a lot of people and have taught a number of people how to defend themselves unarmed and with a firearm. Regardless of ones background, we have discovered that people want to hang on to what they know or think they know. Letting go is difficult for ALL of us. We have had to do it many times in our training in order to grow in our training. As students of self-defense we are constantly searching for things that will make us better and will hopefully save our lives.

I want to address the men at this time… It is our human nature to have an ego. Even when we haven’t had any training we think that we can handle ourselves. Some of you might be able to relate to this. As a teenager (or possibly for some of you who are older and think this way now) we walked around acting like we are “all that”. There may have been a time in your life where you ran your mouth when you shouldn’t have and you got whooped pretty badly. It was then that you realize that maybe you aren’t as tough or prepared for a situation as you thought you were. And maybe as a result of your experience you went and got involved in martial arts training and/or firearms training. Now, some of you might not have been in a situation such as what I just mentioned, but maybe you have received some type of firearms training or unarmed combatives training.

If you are honest with yourself, after receiving the training you got an ego booster. You are now “trained” and you think that you are prepared for a life threatening situation. It is important to understand that whether you have received unarmed combatives training or firearms training that it may not be suitable for a life threatening situation. No one likes to hear the truth about things. Especially when it comes to protecting ourselves or those we love.

Just like when you thought you could handle yourself without training, the same issue with ego is present after having received some training. In fact, it may be worse than when you didn’t have any training. We have found that people who have had training in either martial arts or firearms and have invested a good amount of time, money, and energy into their training are less likely to train in something else even if they know or have a good idea there is something better out there that could potentially save their life. This is a very, very sad fact and it could ultimately cost you your life.

When researching instructors we all look for “impressive” credentials and something that strikes our interest about that instructor. There are a lot of instructors out there that have some pretty impressive backgrounds. Whatever their background may be, what you need to realize is that not all training is equal whether it is unarmed combatives training or firearms training. You might want to read an article on our discussion forum regarding the differences in the types of training.

Another thing that we have found is that realistic training is not at all cool or fun and the reality of it is that a fight is not a fair thing. However, people don’t like the truth and will revert back to their old ways of training whatever that may be. Reality sucks and we understand that. Even with all of our training the reality of it is we can still die in a life threatening confrontation.

Here is the scary part… most martial arts training and firearms training is missing something, and that something is reality. The reality of firearms training is that you are going to have to stay alive long enough in the fight to possibly have the opportunity to attempt to draw your gun if that is the thing to do. Another reality is that even if you do get your gun out and shoot someone the odds of them falling down and dieing on the spot or relatively slim. So, what are you going to do when that person is still coming after you with a knife or still shooting at you and you are out of bullets or don’t have time to reload? Most attacks don’t happen like people think they will. Therefore, if you train in an unrealistic manner as to how attacks really take place, then what good is your training because you won’t be prepared to handle the situation and survive? The time to find out that your training was not what you thought it was is in a life threatening situation. And it is unfortunate that most people will never know until it is too late. Do you want to be that person? Or are you willing to let go of your ego long enough to explore realistic training whether it is unarmed combatives and/or firearms training?

A word of caution… Just because someone has been teaching something for a period of time does not make it realistic or practical regardless of their background. People tend to believe that because something has been taught for so long that it is right or that because of the person’s background they must know what they are doing and that is not at all true and that is part of what this article is about.

So, a question to ask is could a large number of instructors have it wrong? Do they know they have it wrong? Are they missing some important pieces that could mean the difference between life and death to you? The answer to all of those questions could very well be yes. The first question depends upon the instructor and if they are teaching reality based stuff or non-reality based stuff. Just because someone claims it is reality based, well, it doesn’t make it so now does it?

As far as the second question, “Do they know they have it wrong”? Well, remember they are people too and they have an ego. So, is it possible that they know what they are teaching is not realistic or practical… yes! But they keep teaching what they have been because that would mean that they would have to take time to learn something new and possibly revamp their entire approach to training and most people are not going to do that because of the time, money, and effort they have invested all because of their ego, and, they would have to admit what they were teaching was wrong. They would rather keep doing what they are doing regardless of the consequences. Think about what I just said.

And for question number three, there is no system that is going to teach you everything because it just isn’t possible. The question is how many pieces are they missing and are those pieces crucial to your survival? It is our opinion that a large number of firearms instructors are missing some crucial points when it comes to training for a life threatening situation.

Now, what I am not trying to say is that everything your typical self-defense or firearms instructor has taught you is worthless. If you learned how to draw and shoot your gun and hit the target, that is a skill that you need to possess. There are basic skills that you need to have for shooting and hitting the target. Basic skills are just that and most instructors are good at teaching them. Where the problem lies is in “advanced” training is that a lot of the training is based upon unrealistic perceptions of how a life threatening situation really takes place. In firearms training one of the worst things taught is that you will be able to get your gun out and you will hit your target and you will be able to take the threat immediately out of the fight. Well, when has anything in your life gone perfectly? And, most firearms instructors teach that you will be able to do all of that and survive. The reality of it is that you may very well not.

We frequent a number of discussion forums and from many of the responses we get or the lack of responses, we can tell that people have a very difficult time accepting the fact that they may have spent a lot of time, money, and efforts on training that is not suitable for most life threatening situations and they are hung up on their ego so much they don’t want to let go but rather dispute what someone is trying to tell them. As we all know, sometimes the truth hurts. And the natural response is to say that someone is full of crap or whatever.

If you say something so long, people start to believe it even if it isn’t the truth. Why would this be any different with self-defense training or firearms training? What I mean by that is, just because firearms instructors or martial arts instructors say something is so, doesn’t mean it is so, in fact, it could be a downright lie. But if they tell you the same thing over and over and over, eventually you will either figure it out or you will believe what they are telling you without having done the research on your own. On the other hand, if someone is telling you the truth and your perception of reality is different from what someone who is trying to tell you the truth, and they keep saying the same thing over and over and over, you might eventually begin to see that truth IF you let go of your ego.

[Brian LaMaster]

In short, what you don’t know may get you killed! It is your life and you can choose to do whatever you want to do. We are simply trying to get you to question your training and is it really what it should be?

There are some of you reading this who have never had any training whether it is self-defense or firearms training. One of the reasons that you haven’t gotten any training is because you believe that you can handle yourself and that you don’t need anyone to show you what you don’t know. Well, whether or not you have had any training, don’t you owe it to yourself and those you love to humble yourself enough to take a look at something that may very well save your life?

People take people’s word as the gospel about training. There are questions that you need to ask. Why does this training work or not work? Has it been tested under realistic conditions? Have you tested it under realistic conditions? After all, your life is on the line, why wouldn’t you test it in a realistic manner?

In our many years of martial arts training most of what we have learned is not applicable to a life threatening situation. Things are taught from a historical perspective and for learning purposes. We have come to realize that not everything that is taught is life saving information. However, it is our goal to train and learn what is realistic and pass that on to our students so you don’t have to spend as much time as we did learning that a lot of it is useless in a life threatening situation. If what I just said is true about a combat martial art system, why wouldn’t that be true about firearms training? In fact, it is through our personal training time that we have come to the conclusion that most firearms training is not realistic and practical. And it is for that very reason that we have developed material that we feel is more realistic and practical for civilian self-defense purposes.

When we say something, it is coming from the heart and not arrogance. We are searching for the truth as well and so far we haven’t found anything better than how we train. If we did find something better, we sure would be training where ever is offering the better training and improving ourselves!

You are the one who is holding you back from facing reality and getting reality based training. The question is… Do you want the red or the blue pill?